


Green Light

by Fishyz9



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 18:01:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17006487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fishyz9/pseuds/Fishyz9
Summary: A highly anticipated night of intimacy takes a different turn.





	Green Light

**Author's Note:**

> This follows "Take the Lead" but can also be read as a stand alone.

Green Light

It feels fitting that my car won’t start. Though given how completely numb I feel, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was something I was doing wrong. Was I using my thumb instead of the key in the ignition? Nope. Was I in the right car? Yes.

Nothing.  The little red light on my dash tells me that I have a flat battery. And honestly, that’s ok, I tell myself. It gives me a second to just sit in silence.

I lost my first patient today. And it was a kid.

My whole body’s shut down, I’m not distraught, I’m not hysterical, I’m… simply switched off. My body has purposefully blown a fuse and settled me into ‘shock’ mode out of self-preservation. I am quiet, I am still. I am a professional who…his poor _mother_.

I wasn’t on Ortho today. No today, much to my horror, I was assigned to Alex Karev’s service in paediatrics. It actually wasn’t all that bad, he’s a good Doctor and I think he appreciated that kids just tend to like me. They always have. I think they look at me –all five foot six of me– with my unthreatening smile and dorky glasses held on by a rubber band and they instantly feel safe. Doctor Karev utilised that, like any good doctor would.

I was with this kid all day, monitoring him, making him laugh. I scrubbed in during his surgery, I watched his vitals take a dive and then I watched Doctor Karev do everything humanly possible to bring the little guy back, but…he simply slipped away from us.

To his credit, Doctor Karev did not crack. I stood behind him while he broke the news to the mother and… My god.

I’ve wanted to be a Doctor since I was a kid, ever since I realised I couldn’t be Frodo Baggins. This was the first time in my entire life where I have questioned that choice.

I never want to see that again. I never want to be anywhere near that kind of devastation and grief again which is pretty much guaranteed in this line of work.

She wouldn’t sit. She saw the solemn looks on our faces and instantly _knew_. Sitting would only make it real so she stood, already shaking, her chin lifted, daring us to give her the worst news of her life. Karev did the talking; I stood there uselessly, dashing to hook my hand under her arm when her knees buckled.

She collapsed into Doctor Karev, but the look she gave me was one of pure betrayal. I’d been making her kid laugh and smile all day, I’d made them feel safe and as if everything was going to be fine without actually promising them a thing, and now her child was dead. There’s no logic to it, but I can see how I would have made her feel unprepared for this loss.

I don’t know.

Despite this awkward undercurrent between Karev and me, given the ridiculous and somewhat unbelievable common denominator, he was actually quite kind. A hand on my shoulder, reassurance that I did everything right today, telling me to use this as fuel for the next one. I’m trying to hold onto that but I can’t help but run over every stat in my head, every step which led to this little boy dying in the theatre. I’m coming up emptyhanded.

I guess I’m walking to Nico’s.

I started the day so looking forward to this evening; it feels jarring that things have taken this turn.

oOo

Two days ago…

“Dinner at mine, tomorrow night.”

He takes me by surprise by coming up behind me in the dinner hall. Delight ripples through me. “I don’t know,” I tease, “What are you cooking?”

“Actually I’m not a great cook, so takeout, but I make a great breakfast omelette.” He says pointedly, his gaze level, searching for my response, for the green light.

I bite my lip; clearing my throat and adjusting my glasses. “I’ll bring an overnight bag, then.”

His smile is smooth and seductive and _pleased_.

“Alright then.”

oOo

I don’t know if I should even bring this to Nico’s front door. This black cloud, this silent, confused… whatever this is. Nico and I… we’re all flirtation, stolen looks, heated fumbles. We’re not _this_ , this is heavy and too real, this is _not_ sexy.

I reach for my phone, I should just cancel. He’ll think I’m chickening out but he’ll get it when I eventually explain. I search through my pockets, through my backpack, then realise that I left it in my goddamn locker. I look up at the hospital through the windshield. I can’t go back in there. Not yet.

It’s ok. I’ll… I’ll use the walk to Nico’s to clear my head. It’ll be fine. Tonight can still be the night. I’ve wanted this for so long and…I just need to clear my head. Fresh air is good for that.

On que the heavens open and droplets of rain splatter against my windshield.

It’s still ok. In fact it’s better. The rain will wake me up from this daze.

Thirty minutes later I’m outside Nico’s door after being buzzed up. Dripping wet, no more awake or ok than I was an hour ago. His smile when he opens the door makes me sad for some reason. Just another person for me to let down today…

“Hey,” he says brightly, “It’s about time, I thought you were bailing on …” he trails off, a look of concern passing over his features.  “What happened?”

“Oh,” I look down at myself. “It rained. My car wouldn’t start and it was raining.” I say numbly.

His hand is at the back of my elbow, pulling me through the doorway. He slides my jacket off, I let him. He dips his head slightly to catch my gaze – I didn’t even realise I was staring at the floor – and his tone is suddenly careful, gentle.

“Levi, talk to me.”

I give my head a small shake, shrugging as I look for the words. “Hard day at work.” I don’t want him to worry. I don’t want to ruin everything.

Something seems to click, he wets his lip quickly. “You were on paediatrics today, right?”

“Yeah.” I nod.

“What happened? Did Karev give you hell, or…?”

I quickly shake my head. “No, Karev’s a good Doctor.”

His expression becomes more serious, as if my words confirm the worst. I can’t let him keep guessing though, it’s all too horrible. “I uh… I lost my first patient today.” I take a gulping breath, a swell of… of something…confusion, anger, _heartache_ just brimming to the surface all of a sudden. “H-he was only _five_ …” I gasp out.

He doesn’t say anything, he just draws me close, my face instantly turning and pressing against his shoulder as I grip the back of his sweater. His fingers threading through my hair and cradling the back of my head is the anchor I didn’t even realise I needed right now. His other arm is a warm bracket against my back, holding my upright. I slump against him.

“Sorry,” I say against his shoulder, sniffing, trying to pull myself together. “I’m sorry I didn’t want to bring this here, I…”

“Shh, it’s alright. It’ll be ok.”

Those are the three words I needed to hear and the three words I desperately want to believe. “It was so awful, Nico…”

“I can only imagine.”

I push away from him slightly, still holding onto his arms and feeling marginally in control of myself. “I’m ok, I promise.”

His hand reaches up to brush damp hair out of my eyes, he brushes my cheek. “You’re shivering.”

I nod. I swallow hard and look up at him. “Have I ruined this?”

“No. I don’t know if you mean tonight or something else but the answer is no.”

“I meant all of it.” I bite my lip; tilt my head to one side. “Tonight was supposed to be…you know.”

He shrugs. “There’s no window for that.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m actually a pretty good guy, Levi.” He says with a small smile. “I’m not about to throw you out, all bedraggled and wet after what must be…” he swallows, his tone softening. “…a very painful experience.”

I give him a small, somewhat shaky smile. “I so wanted tonight to be the night.”

“There will be _plenty_ of nights for that.”  He steps away for a moment, pulling a throw from the back of his sofa and wrapping it around my shoulders in one swift movement. “For now, you tell me what you need, ok?”

I love him.

“If you want me to take you home? Not a problem, you can spend the whole night texting me from your own bed if you like. If you’re hungry I have Chinese takeout. If you’re cold – which you are – I have a bath. If you want to talk let’s do that, I got two ears ready and waiting. Or, if you’re tired and just want to sleep, let’s go to bed.  Whatever you need.”

I look at him sadly. “You’re kind of wonderful, you know that?”

He tilts his head slightly. “This is in fact the bare minimum of what you should expect from anyone.”

“You’re going to make me raise that bar if it kills me, aren’t you?” I let out a small, watery laugh.

He smiles. “That’s good, hearing you laugh.” His hands brush down my arms, hold my hands. “Now tell me what you want to do.”

 I sniff again, frowning slightly as I think about it. “A bath sounds kind of perfect, actually. I’d like to wash the day off.”

“Come on.” He pulls me towards the bathroom.

I sit on the closed toilet seat, the throw still around my shoulders as I watch him kneel on the bathroom floor, one of his sleeves rolled up as he tests the water. I am so goddamn smitten with this guy.

“Now the question is, bubbles or no bubbles?”

That surprises a laugh out of me. “Really?”

“Oh come on, don’t get all macho on me now. Who doesn’t like bubbles?”

I shrug. “Ok, bubbles.” I agree, smiling at him.

He nods, “I love your smile, by the way.” He says almost absentmindedly as he pours in the bubbles, not even looking at me.

“Alright,” he says, before I can say a thing in response and turning off the taps, flicking his wet hands into the bath as he stands. “Towels are here,” he opens an airing cupboard and places the fluffy, folded towels on top of a hamper. “I’ll give you a second to get comfortable.”

I stand and slide the throw from my shoulders, handing it to him. He takes it but before he can turn away I tug the front of his sweater, and pull him down for a kiss. “Thank you.”

He says nothing but gives me a soft smile and leaves me to get undressed.

I undress, folding my damp clothes and leaving them on the closed toilet lid. I climb into the tub and it is warm and comforting and exactly what I need right now. I sink in, submerged to my shoulders and dipping my head back into the warm water to soak my hair. I briskly run my fingers through it, aware that it makes me look like a puppy that’s just come out of the rain and not caring a bit.

A knock at the door brings me back to reality and I open my eyes to see Nico opening the door a crack, peeking his head through. “You ok in here?”

I don’t say anything but lift my chin, silently telling him to come in. When he shoulders the door open I can see his hands are full with chopsticks and two take out cartons. I let out a small laugh. “You are the perfect man.”

“I don’t know about that,” he says, grabbing another fluffy towel and using it to kneel down beside the tub, next to me. “I’ve been told I snore.”

 “That’s it?”

“Oh yeah, other than that I’m totally perfect.”

“And modest,” I grin. I lift my chin at the cartons. “What you got there?”

“We have,” he says, opening up the cartons. “Egg rolls, orange chicken and sweet and sour chicken chow mein.”

“I’ll take an egg roll off your hands.”  I reach with one dripping hand and he pulls the carton back.

“Um nope, you have to use chopsticks, thems the rules. And yes I will be judging your chopstick skills.”

“Oh god,” I groan, grinning regardless. “You’re going to have a tub full of eggrolls.”

“Then you can fish them out,” he laughs softly. “Here you go.”

I take the chopsticks and allow him to instruct me on how to correctly hold them. When I successfully transfer an eggroll from the carton to my mouth he cheers and I grin.

“You’ve got chopsticks down; you’re ready for keyhole surgery.”

“That’s the trick, is it? Copious amounts of takeout food?”

“That’s how all the greats do it, trust me.” He says, expertly twisting chow mein onto his chopsticks.

I watch him, watch that perfect jaw move. “This…this has been a pretty good night, considering...”

He swallows and puts down the carton and then leans his forearms on the side of the tub, his chin resting on his arms. “Well, you’re naked in my tub, so…” he shrugs. “That’s a win for me.”

I smile, realising that despite how this evening started, I’m feeling pretty damn happy right now. And as that realisation sinks in I feel that same smile slide away.

“What?” He says gently. “Where’d you go just then?”

“I’m sorry,” I say, “I just feel…guilty.”

“For what?”

“For being able to feel happy right now, after today.”

He presses his lips together, dropping his gaze slightly, not because he agrees with me, but in acknowledgement of what I’m saying.

“Ok, budge up.” He says, standing.

“What?” I say in surprise and without answering he’s pushing me forwards in the tub, lifting one leg over the side and into the water. “Oh my –” I break off with a loud laugh as he slinks down behind me in the tub, fully clothed. “You’re crazy!”

“Maybe,” he chuckles behind me. His hands snaking around my waist and pulling me back against him. “This is nice, though.”

Still snickering to myself I lie back comfortably against him, feeling safe and secure in a strange, naked way. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

“Ah dammit,” he says suddenly.

“What?” I instinctively pull his arms tighter around me, not wanting him to leave.

“I left desert in the freezer.” He sighs.

“Then it’ll keep.” I say, turning to look over my shoulder, he drops a kiss to my lips.

He smirks. “You’re all slippery.”

“Hmm,” I hum contently, lifting one of his hands to study it against my own. Mine being considerably smaller, but somehow looking perfect when paired with his. “A surgeon’s hand,” I mutter to myself.

“Mine or yours?”

“Both, I guess.” I run my thumb over the callouses on his hands. “What are these from?”

“Weights.”

“You go to the gym?”  I instantly roll my eyes at myself. “What am I saying, of course you do, look at you.”

He laughs softly, allowing me to explore every crease of his hand. “I go when I can, but I have weights stashed here too, under the bed. I’m actually a very simple, boring man.”

“Well I doubt that very much.”

“It’s true. Work, study, weights, treadmill, fantasise about a certain intern, food, rinse wash and repeat. That’s me in a nutshell.”

I laugh softly, shivering slightly at the same time.

“Cold?” He asks.

“If I say yes are you going to make me get out of the tub?”

“Yes.”

“Then nope, I’m fine.”

He snorts, giving me a gentle nudge forwards. “Come on, I’ll grab you a towel.”

“You might want to grab yourself one, too.” I point out.

When he steps out I can’t help but laugh, he’s a dripping mess, but his clothes also cling to him in the most stunning way.

“I think I’m seeing the appeal of wet t-shirt contests.”

He laughs as he holds up a towel for me. I look at him with a raised brow as I brace my hands on the side of the tub. He rolls his eyes and purposefully turns his head away.

“Thank you,” I say primly, taking the towel and wrapping it around my waist. “You’re making a mess.”  I nod at the floor where a puddle forms around him.

“So I am,” he says, lifting his sweatshirt over his head and letting in hit the floor in a heavy, sodden lump. Without pausing he starts to unbutton and unzip his jeans, pulling them off.

His hands rest at the waistband of his sodden boxerbreifs, already clinging to him and hiding absolutely nothing. “Now, am I going to offend your delicate sensibilities if I get naked in front of you, sweet Levi?”

I swallow hard, awkwardness overwhelming me as a flush creeps up my neck. “Y-you do what you want.”

“Cool,” he smirks, pulling his underwear down and adding them to the pile. Just as casual as anything as he reaches for a towel.

He is a stunning man. Like… the kind of man artists use to sculpt statues, only more… _generous_. “How does anyone get to be that _handsome_?” I say quietly as he wraps the towel around his trim waist, and he looks at me in surprise.

He reaches out a hand and tips my chin up to kiss me. “You tell me, beautiful.”

My breath stutters against his lips and he kisses me again, softly.

“Come on,” he says, “it’s late. You go grab anything of mine to wear and let’s go to bed.” He pulls me towards the bathroom door.

“Wait, what about…” I gesture at the mess of sodden clothes and Chinese food on the floor

“Meh, I’ll get it tomorrow.”

I grin at him. Shake my head. “Ok then.”

“Bedroom’s that way.” He gives a gentle push at the small of my back towards a black door. “I’ll be there in a second.”

I wander into the room; turn on a bedside lamp which gives the room a dimly lit, romantic feel. I head to the dresser and pull out some shorts and decide to go without a t-shirt. His bed has dark sheets with a thick quilt which instantly looks inviting. I peel back the covers and climb in. All at once the day catches up with me and I’m suddenly exhausted.

He comes in with a pint of ice cream and two spoons. Has there ever been a more enticing image than Nico Kim, naked save for a towel riding low on his waist, with ice cream.

“Here, take these.”

He hands me the ice cream and spoons and walks over to the dresser, dropping the towel as he goes to hunt for something to wear. I slink down against the pillows, grinning and half hiding my face in the pillow as I watch him dress. He glances back and does a quick double take.

“What?” He smirks, pulling on a clean pair of underwear.

“You just… look even better naked than I thought you would.”

“Huh, so you’ve thought about it, have you?” He comes over to the bed, climbing in beside me.

 I bite my lip. “Busted.”

“That’s ok,” he says gesturing with his hand to ask for a spoon. “I’d be offended at this point if you hadn’t.”

I sit up slightly and we both crowd over the ice cream pot. It feels strangely intimate, like we’ve built ourselves a fort in this dark room, cocooned by thick blankets. “So what do we have here?” I hold my spoon up in anticipation.

“Cherry Garcia.” He says with relish, popping the lid.

“Oh, good choice.”

“Umhm,” he answers, offering me first dibs by tipping the pot towards me.

He watches me fondly. “What’s your favourite ice cream flavour, Levi Schmitt?” He asks quietly.

I tilt my head at him, smiling around the spoon as I pull it from my mouth clean. “That’s a tough one.”

“Give me your top three.”

“Let me see,” I give it some serious thought. “Peanut buttercup, cookie dough and… _ah_ , Chunky Monkey.”

He instantly shudders.

“What?” I laugh. “You don’t like Chunky Monkey?”

“It’s not that, it’s uh…” he looks at me, and gives me oddly embarrassed laugh. “That used to be a nickname for me when I was a kid, _Chunky Monkey_. I hated it.”

I frown, digging for more ice cream. “What? Why?”

He sighs, his spoon duelling against mine for a second, making us both grin. “I was a chubby kid.”

I look at him in surprise. “You were?”

He nods. “Yep, you best believe I got made fun of. Looking that different? Being half Korean, half Italian _and_ fat? Of course everyone just assumed I was Chinese or Japanese...” He snorts. “Kids used to bring fortune cookies to school and throw them at me.”

I pause with my spoon mid-air and look at him sadly. The idea of confident, talented, incredible Nico Kim being a vulnerable kid just…it hurts. I point my spoon at him. “I want the name of every kid that ever did that to you.”

He snorts. “It was a long time ago.”

“I’m gonna hire a detective, hunt them all down and pelt them with eggrolls, see how they like it.”

He doesn’t say anything but gives me a soft smile.

I shrug. “I would have been your friend. I was the kid who hung out with the janitor, so…”

“You _weren’t_ …” he says, sounding pleased, like we have this thing in common.

“Yup.” I nod. “Oh man, my lenses were so much thicker back then too, not to mention the headgear…”

“You –” he closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose for a second. “You had headgear? Seriously?”

“ _Oh_ yeah, total lost cause.” I laugh. “You me and the Janitor? That is what you call _squad goals_ …”

He tips his head back and laughs. “Oh man,” he says weakly, “I actually do wish I’d known you then. I think you would have been my best friend.”

It’s an oddly touching thing to say. “Yeah but then I’d have gotten all resentful when you got hot and I…” I look down at myself. “Well…” I laugh. “Puberty is kinder to some than to others I guess.”

“Hey, I didn’t drop the pounds until _well_ into college, here…” he hands me the ice cream to hold and then leans over the side of the bed, hunting underneath for something. He comes back with a small, battered old shoebox.

“What’s that?”

He lifts the lid, sifts through a mishmash of items until he finds what he’s looking for and presents me with a photo.

“Me, my first day at college.”

I take the photo and feel my expression change into something soft and adoring. “Are you kidding me? You’re a total _cutie_.”

He frowns at me, looking at the photo and back at me. “That is not _cute_.”

“Oh come on, look at those cheeks, oh and Nico you look so _shy_ …” I practically melt.

“Ugh, I _was_.”

“So, how did you go from this,” I wave the photo. “To the cocky guy who walks through the hospital halls like nothing can touch him?”

He takes the photo back, shrugging slightly and then dropping it in the box. “I dropped the weight, realised I wasn’t half bad looking and discovered sex.”

“Ah, see not all of us have that kind of realisation or… _awakening_ in college. In fact I think I’m still waiting for mine.” I laugh. “I lost the headgear but was still very much the nervous, weird little guy I am now.”

“And I would have been chasing you just as hard, I promise you that.”

I give him a soft smile and reach for the box. “Ok gimme, I want to see younger Nico…”

I doubt it was how he was expecting to spend the evening, but that’s what we did. Huddled against the pillows with the quilt around us, I flicked through his photos, wanting to know everything about him as a kid, my hand stroking against his leg as he told me all the things I wanted to know. It was comfortable, it was homely, it was completely and utterly healing after the pain I’d felt earlier that day.

We fell asleep that way.  I wake up in the middle of the night, nestled against him, his arm around me and photos scattered around us. I take a moment to study his sleeping face, smiling to myself when I realised he does in fact snore softly.

His face is chiselled perfection, but that’s nothing, really. What gets me is the hug he gave me when I walked through his door, soaked and in shock. The fact that when he was probably expecting to get laid he drew me a bath, did his best to take my mind off of the trauma of that day, fed me ice cream, stayed up late to talk to me about his family, to ask me about mine…

That’s kindness in a nutshell. For me…that’s love.

Ever so carefully I sit up, leaning over him. I let my hand trace his sleeping features. “Nico…” I whisper. “Nico, wake up…” My hand soft against his cheek makes him suck in a deep breath, stirring slowly.

“Hey,” he says groggily, lifting his head to look at the alarm clock which glows 3:20am. “We fell asleep.”

“Yeah,” I murmur.

His hand automatically reaches out for me, his thumb brushing my cheek as I lean over him. “You ok?”

I don’t answer; instead I lay myself over him and press my lips over his in a firm kiss. He sucks in a deep breath in through his nose, responding instantly with a low moan, his hand cupping the back of my head.

Akin to how overwhelmed with anticipation I was to climb all over him in that ambulance, I eagerly deepen the kiss, but he soon breaks it to look me in the eye. He lifts his brow in question, wanting to be sure. I nod.

_Green light._

He pulls me back down for a deep kiss, taking control. My hands trail over the muscle of his body, our legs entwining. I hum in appreciation as he swiftly manoeuvres us so that my back is pressed into the mattress, his weight settled on top of me.

Breathing becomes laboured; sheets are impatiently pushed out of the way as we rock together. He pulls away again, seeking approval one last time, just to be sure, and when he sees it he reaches for the bedside draw.

During that brief moment when his attention is not on me, I look up at the ceiling and take a deep breath, because regardless of how much I want this, it’s still…the _first_ time.

“Still with me?” He leans back over me, his arm braced beside me and his free hand brushing my jaw. “You know, saying yes a second ago doesn’t mean you can’t say no now.”

I reach up and wrap my hand around his neck. “Come here.”

His kiss is hungry and I arch up against him, when I hear the rustle of what he has in his hand I falter slightly, breaking the kiss. “It’s…” I wet my lip quickly, unable to hide my awkwardness. “It’s ok that I’m kind of nervous right now, right? It’s not too lame?”

He visibly softens. “Of course it’s ok. Here, you want to approach this like doctors? Just shine a light on the awkward part so we can laugh and get to the good stuff?” He holds the small packet between two fingers. “This is a condom, it goes on my dick – _penis_.” He corrects himself and I groan, laughing at how silly he’s being just to calm my nerves.

“This is lube, this goes over the erect penis, and inside of –”

“Ok!” I laugh. “God, keep talking like that and no one’s going to be erect.”

He grins. “Look, it’s ok to feel awkward and nervous right now, just know that in a little bit, I’m going to make you feel really…” he presses a kiss to my lips, “really…” a kiss to my neck “ _good_.”

He wasn’t kidding. Nothing could have prepared me for the feeling of his lips kissing a hot trail down my stomach, of his mouth on me, of how powerful it would make me feel to weave my fingers through the hair at the back of his head as he moved over me. Nothing could have prepared me for the feeling of his hands gently preparing me, his fingers inside of me. No pain, no awkwardness, just sensual ease into something inevitable and wonderful.

When he lifted himself back over me, it was me that took the condom out of his hand, his expression pleased and approving as I use my teeth to rip it open and roll it over him. There’s the briefest moment of fumbling, awkward grins and soft laughter coming from us both as I lift my hips for him to scoot a pillow beneath me, and then it’s happening.

He’s slow, his face hovering close to mine and watching for any sign of pain as he slides inside of me. My breath rushes out of me and my hands dart out to grip the muscle of his shoulders. It’s a strange sensation, but certainly not a bad one. Feeling so connected…it’s incredible.

His hand strokes along my thigh, lifting it and hooking it over his hip, and with one forearm braced beside my head, he carefully pulls back and with an unbelievably sensual arch of his back, he pushes forward again. Red hot pleasure rushes through me and I gasp. “Oh my… _Nico_ …”

He smiles, moving in a gentle rhythm and dipping his head to kiss me. “Told you,” he says against my lips, his voice husky, even more than usual. My hands grip uselessly at his sides, slide up his back and hook over his shoulders. I can’t help but look down between us to where we’re connected, his stomach tensed and the muscle growing slick with sweat.

He leans down a fraction, brushing his lips against mine. “You feel incredible.”

I let out a pleased gasp. “S-so do you…”

“Levi…” he groans, kissing me.

I whimper into the kiss and I feel a very obvious shudder travel through his body. The arch in his back becomes more acute, his movements a fraction quicker and I push my head back into the pillow, letting out a helpless cry.

“Oh my god, the noises you make…” he says through gritted teeth. “You’re killing me.”

“Don’t – _ah_ , d-don’t stop, please…” I beg, utterly breathless.

His lips latch onto my neck, kissing, sucking; I even feel the slight sting of teeth as his shoulders continue to roll over me, a mountain of muscle so strong but as much at my mercy as I am at his.  My hands desperately reach for him, pulling his head to mine so I can kiss him desperately. He leans his weight completely into me, the friction in my groin almost too pleasurable for me to bear. He reaches for my hands, entwining our fingers and laying them above my head, the backs of my hands pressed deep into the mattress, leaving me completely helpless.

How he can move so perfectly inside of me and kiss me so thoroughly as he does so is beyond me. Another whimper escapes my throat and the groan it pulls from him sounds almost pained.

“Levi… _Christ_ …”

“I can’t,” I gasp. “I can’t I–I’m …”

“It’s ok,” he pants. He lets go of my hands, kissing me hard before cupping one side of my neck and pressing his brow into the crook the other side. I can feel his free hand bunched up hard in the pillow next to my head. “Let go,” he pants, his movements becoming more forceful, somehow still restrained, but more desperate as he thrusts harder inside of me.

I let out a cry; my head pushing back into the pillow as I completely unravel beneath him. “ _Nico_ …”

Moments later I feel the muscle of his shoulders tense beneath my hands, the rhythm of his hips falter, stuttering almost as he pushes deep into me one last time. My name, broken and guttural is lost somewhere against my shoulder and I clutch him close when he settles over me, still except for the deep breaths, his back rising and falling. I feel oddly protective of him in that moment; my hands trailing over his slick back, pressing soft, lazy kisses against whatever skin I can reach.

After a short while our breathing returns to normal and he turns his head just enough to catch my eye. I can feel a smile I can’t explain begin to spread and I bite my lip, wanting to keep my cool, but he lets out a quiet, breathy laugh.

“Right?” He says quietly.

I let my grin spread and laugh quietly, just for a second. I’m strangely elated, and that he can communicate the exact same feeling with one word kills me. He smirks, pressing his nose affectionately into the side of my cheek before kissing the exact same spot. “Incredible.” He murmurs.  

I let out a deeply contented sigh and he pulls his head back a fraction so that I can turn mine. Looking at his lips and lifting my chin I silently ask for his kiss and he obliges, humming a soft sigh of satisfaction into it.

“That was amazing,” I murmur quietly.

“Yes it was.” His voice still sounding a little rough.

“Can we…” I wet my lips. “Can we do it again?”

He lets out a soft, surprised laugh, his hand reaching to brush his thumb against my cheek. “You may have to give me a few minutes.”

“No, I…” I break off, feeling myself flush. “I didn’t mean now.”

“I know.” He reassures, dipping his head to kiss me one last time before pulling away gently. “One second,” he says with a pleased grin when I grumble in disappointment. “I’ll be back.”

I watch his sleek body walk away to clean up and I lift my head from the pillow to hunt out the box of Kleenex I’m sure I saw on the bedside table earlier. I take a moment to clean up and then collapse back against the sheets, feeling more satisfied than ever before in my life, one arm stretching above my head lazily.

“Now that’s a sight.” He says, his voice low as he crawls back into the bed, propping himself up on an elbow to look down at me with a knowing grin. “Someone looks pleased.”

I open my mouth to say something but instead let out a sigh and can’t help the bashful grin that spreads across my lips as I glance away. He laughs quietly and I feel heat touch my cheeks. When I can muster the courage to meet his eyes, I chew my lip for a moment before reaching out to brush the backs of my fingers against his chest. “Wow.” I say quietly.

His smile is one of gratification and he brushes a few stray hairs from my brow. “Thank you. And yeah, I agree.”

“Is it always like that?”

“Is it always good?” He shrugs. “Usually. Is it always _that_ good? For me, no. No that was something else.”  He gently grasps my fingers, the ones brushing against his chest and lifts them to his lips, dropping an affectionate kiss to them. “I guess the more you feel for the person, the more intense it is.”

I swallow hard, feeling my heart beat just a little faster. “Well, then that was about as intense as intense gets, for me at least…” I watch him, waiting to see that he knows what it is I’m trying to say. He does. Emboldened, I lift my chin at him. “Come here.”

He gladly dips his head for a kiss, but my hand at the back of his head and my fingers carding through his hair give me control of the kiss. When I release him his breathing is unsteady.

“We’re together now, ok?” I say softly.

The look in his eyes is gentle, _pleased_ , but all the same he lifts one teasing brow in question. He quickly wets his lips. “Are you asking or telling?”

“Telling. We’re together, Nico.” I say softly, but leave no room for argument.

His expression is equal parts tender, easy and accepting. “So we are.” He agrees, giving me the green light and dipping his head for another kiss. 

 

 

 


End file.
